Guy's Journal
by fanfic1422
Summary: Guy and Josie's relationship after prom.
1. The Shock at Prom

Wow. I started this story about two years ago. Last week I read the reviews  
you guys wrote about it. Thanks so much! It made me want to finish this  
story and make it better. Thanks again.  
  
May 14th  
  
Well prom is in 2 days. I've really had some mixed emotions about it. I feel kind of immature getting excited about a dance. That's not really my attitude. I can leave that up to all my friends.  
  
I'm really just in my own little world lately. Things aren't all that great at home. I'm really scared about what might happen there. I don't really have anyone to talk to about it. My friends are incapable of understanding what I am going through. After all their Mommy's and Daddy's are catering to their every need until they start school. Then in college, (which their parents will pay for) they will get care packages and checks from them.  
  
My friends are just so shallow and unaware of the real world that is about to suck us up. I'm just getting so tired of them. Not all of were born with that silver spoon in our mouth. They just act so. I don't really want to go into all that right now. I'll just leave it at the fact that we will all graduate and probably not see each other until our 5 year reunion. That doesn't phase them at all. None of them understand we have to grow up.  
  
Wow, even when I try to stop thinking about it still bothers me. At least I have Josie now. She is the only one who seems to have a grasp on the future. She's amazing. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't have even gone to prom. She picked out the best costumes for us, two lovers from Shakespeare. I don't know much about Shakespeare, but she's wearing a tight top and I get a sword!  
  
I can't wait until prom is over. The school is throwing a stupid party for us. Josie said she wants to go, so the two of us will stop by for a bit, then I have better plans. Prom is really going to be an unforgettable night for the two of us. Now that I think about all the good, I can hardly wait.  
  
May 16th  
  
Last night was prom. What a night. I can't believe it all and I don't really understand. But I will start from the beginning. Everything seemed great for Josie and me. Every moment we danced close together, I got more and more excited about the plans for after the dance. Then they announced we were king and queen. It was amazing. I didn't think I would be so happy to win. But with Josie as my queen, it felt amazing.  
  
Then she was dancing with Mr. Coulson. Kristen, Kirsten, and Gibby came up to me. They dared me to dance with Aldys. They kept saying I was too caught up in my image to dance with her, and I owed to her since she is Josie's best friend. So I asked her to dance. It didn't seem like a big deal.  
  
Then the girls tried to throw dog food on Aldys. But Josie stopped it. The first thought in my head was that Josie had seen me call Aldys Alpo at the court. But I was really drunk that night. And all these thoughts were pouring through my head about how to apologize and then Josie just went off.  
  
She told us she was a newspaper reporter and doing an undercover story. She told us how horrible we all were and didn't even say she was sorry to me. Josie just ran off.  
  
And there I was just standing alone. I ran to follow Josie, but when I walked out the door she was already talking to Mr. Coulson. She didn't really love me.  
  
That bitch. She was just using me as a pawn in her story. And she didn't even care if I was hurt. I turned and ran the other way, I thought about getting back in the limo but just decided to walk home.  
  
How could she do all this to me? I bet she is the one who put that story in the paper that got the cops all over the court. I don't know what to feel.  
  
She was so perfect. The smartest, prettiest, sweetest, funniest girl in the world. And it was all a lie. She never even cared about me. Josie was just there to get stories. I can't believe I opened up so much to her. I've never really felt like that before. All the girls I dated just didn't matter as much as she did. They were basically filling in time until I found the right girl.  
  
And I thought it was Josie.  
  
Oh my god. She said she didn't even care that she won prom queen. I thought it would really hold us together. We could talk about it years from now when we looked back on our life together. Maybe I was just being a hopeless romantic and putting too much into it all.  
  
That bitch. She didn't really care.  
  
Now I don't really have anyone to turn to. My friends are all worthless lemmings who just aimlessly follow one another around. I was like a white cane for the blind leading the blind. They were my little pack that did whatever I did. I don't enjoy it anymore. Maybe I never even did. It was just high school. I just wanted to have fun.  
  
Maybe if they hadn't thrown the dog food on Aldys then Josie would still be here. I don't know. She was never even here to start with. I have to let go now. I can't love her she isn't even real.  
  
I can't believe this is all happening to me. It has got to be some off the wall dream that will end when I wake up. I just don't understand it all. Why? 


	2. The Truth

May 20th  
  
This is the last week of school. It's been hard to face everyone since prom. They all try to act sympathetic. I'm too hurt and too embarrassed to deal with it though. I thought about not going back. But then I'd be stuck in Southglen another year. That would be worse then walking around with no pride.  
  
At lunch period I was sitting alone on the bleachers. I brought my guitar, but felt no real inspiration to play. So it just laid across my lap silently. Then Aldys came over and sat next to me.  
  
"Guy, do you miss her?" she asked.  
  
I just stared at her, ready to tell her to leave. But then it clicked in my head. She was hurt just as much as I was. She had also let Josie into her life in a special way, and been dropped like yesterdays news for a cover story. Instead of hurting her again I just turned away.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it." was all I get out of my mouth. I totally felt a loss of words.  
  
But Aldys didn't leave. She just quietly sat there.  
  
"She was my best friend. I don't care what happened it the end. I'm not mad at you because she ditched me for you-"  
  
"Shut up! I never told her to ditch you for me. And I sure as hell never told her to ditch me like that either. Face it she's a bitch. Josie doesn't care about who we are, she just wanted a story."  
  
I instantly felt bad for yelling at Aldys. She looked ready to cry. Suddenly I felt rage running through my body. It scared me and I just got up and ran off.  
  
May 21st  
  
I woke up late and decided to not go to school. My body felt empty inside. Expecting my father to be at work I went into the kitchen and opened the fridge. But he was sitting at the table drinking a beer.  
  
"Guy why aren't you at school?" His voice showed no emotion as he spoke.  
  
"Why are you drinking a beer at 10 am?" I shot right back.  
  
The beer can flew out of his hand as he jumped up. Before I knew it I was pinned to the fridge feeling his rancid breath on my cheek.  
  
"Get your act together now. I'm sick of dealing with your shit kid. Your momma couldn't do it either could she?"  
  
"Leave my mother out of this. Maybe she couldn't deal with your shit." Right after I blurted that out I flinched. I knew what was coming.  
  
His fist his my cheek hard then met up with my side. He shoved me to the floor and opened the fridge to retrieve another beer. I ran out of the house not carrying where I went.  
  
I started to drive around. For the second day in a row I found myself sitting in the park by the creek. I lit up another cigarette and thought about Josie. She didn't like it when I smoked, and would take the cigarette from my mouth and stomp on it.  
  
But Josie sure wasn't here now. I sighed and took a deep drag off the Marlboro. My side really hurt but I didn't care. I just leaned back and enjoyed the calmness surrounding me.  
  
May 23rd  
  
I skipped school again yesterday, but decided to go back for the last day. When I got there I saw everyone reading the newspaper. Josie's story must have came out. But I didn't want to read it or even guess what it had to say.  
  
Then Tommy came over to me and shoved a paper in my face.  
  
"Look at this man! She loves up!" He laughed. Everyone around me was soaking up the joy of being featured in the paper. A line near the end caught my attention.  
  
"And there's still that one guy, the one who is so perfect in every way. The guy you get up and go to school for in the morning. Southglen would not have been the same without him. High school would not be the same without him. I would not have been the same without him."  
  
Josie Gellar wouldn't have been the same without me. And I have to admit I wouldn't have been the same without her. I guess I don't know what to think about anything now. I never trusted anyone as much as I trusted her. We would just sit in my car outside her house and talk. I miss that. Even it was real to me, it wasn't real to her. But I don't know.  
  
I feel so angry, but then I feel like she's still a friend. 


	3. One last fall

June 1st  
  
Tonight was graduation. I really expected to see Josie there. In fact a small part of my hoped to see her there. I don't really know why. Maybe I'm just a little hung up on her still. Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment. Maybe I'm just stupid. But I know I'm not going to get over Josie anytime soon. She's so deep rooted in my heart now. I don't care who she turned out to be, I love the Josie I knew. It's not that I'm in love with her. I just love her. I can't go on hating her. I have to admit I still think the world of her. I really hope Mr. Coulson goes to her. He's stupid not to.  
  
June 4th  
  
Tonight was the baseball game. I sat there in the stands with my friends watching her stand alone on the pitchers mound. The only thought going through my head was Coulson better go to her. She deserves a lot, and he can give it to her. I want her to be happy.  
  
Then the timer went off and he wasn't there. I just sat there, thinking I should go hug Josie or something. I was just about thinking hey, maybe Coulson won't show up and in some way Josie can be mine again. Maybe not. Because then he ran down to go kiss her. And it was a happy moment I guess. I officially lost her, not that she was ever really mine anyways.  
  
I don't feel so bad about it anyways. I'm graduated and going to Chicago in the fall. It's all over.  
  
June 6th  
  
Today Josie called me. She told me she's sorry and wants to make everything up to me. We set up plans for dinner and a night out. After I hung up the phone I felt so excited. I turned the radio up quite a bit and laid back on my bed. I thought nothing could ruin the way I felt.  
  
Then my dad came into my room.  
  
I don't even really know what happened. He was yelling at me about the radio being to loud while he was trying to take a nap. As usual he brought up mom leaving, and tried to blame it on me.  
  
Then I finally had the nerve to say something back. I called him an alcoholic and said maybe if he didn't hit my mom she wouldn't have left.  
  
I saw his fist moving toward me, then it all went black.  
  
I woke up and found myself laying on my bedroom floor near my metal bed frame. I reached up to feel my pounding head and felt the sticky blood all around it. I tried to sit up but my head just spun and I hit the ground again. I knew I had to get up and find the phone though. So I crawled to the window and peeked outside. Upon seeing that my father's truck was gone I relaxed a bit and called Josie.  
  
I started to talk to her, and tried to get out of our dinner plans. But I guess that is when I passed out again because my memory stops there. 


	4. Waking up and falling asleep

June 8th  
  
I woke up completely dazed and confused. The surroundings were strange and uncomfortable. I was lying in a bed that wasn't mine, and my whole body ached. I tried to sit up, but realized it was hard enough to keep my eyes open. Then I saw Rob staring at my face.  
  
He yelled something, but the only words I could make out were Josie and doctor.  
  
I know I muttered something about coleslaw, and then fell back asleep.  
  
When I woke up the next time, I felt a bit more aware of my surroundings. I tried to turn my head, but the pain was intense. So I just laid there and stared at the white ceiling, just feeling the dull pain throughout my body.  
  
I heard a machine lightly humming, another machine beeping slowly, and a pen scratching on paper.  
  
I whispered Josie's name and she was instantly standing above me, telling someone to go get the doctors.  
  
She told me I was in the hospital and asked me if I could remember why.  
  
I closed my eyes and tried to sink into the bed as I remembered that night.  
  
My father and I were fighting and he punched me in the face. I fell down and hit my head on the dresser. He pulled me up and hit me again. Then I must have hit my head on the bed frame. He kicked me a few times while I was on the floor. But by then my body was numb except for the pain in my head. After that I passed out.  
  
Then a doctor was shining lights in my eyes, asking me questions and counting my breaths. Then he started to move my arms and ask about the pain shooting through my body.  
  
The doctor spoke to Josie then left the room.  
  
My head felt like a huge cloud, and every second took so long to get through.  
  
June 10th  
  
Today I was finally able to get out of bed. Turns out I have a concussion, four broken ribs, a broken arm, and my head is cracked open- and sewed shut again with 14 stitches. So of course, when I got out of bed, Mr. Coulson and a nurse stood me up and I started to fall back down.  
  
June 11th My father went to court today. He has a ten-year prison sentence, but is up for parole in 6 years on good behavior. I don't have to see him if I don't want to. Right now that is the last thing in the world I want to do.  
  
I am going to be released from the hospital tomorrow. It will be seven days by then. I have no where to go, so Josie asked me to stay with her until I go to school in the fall. At first I argued with her that I could find somewhere, but realized I can't. It's hard to accept the fact that she cares about me. I'm not sure how to take everything. It's been a rough week though, so I guess I'm entitled to be confused for a while. 


	5. Physical Healing

June 12  
  
At 2 o clock Josie was finally able to get me out of the hospital. Armed with bags of painkillers, pills to fight off infection, and ointment for my stitches I sat in the back of Josie's car. I was nestled in between soft pillows, and fell asleep again.  
  
Next thing I knew Josie was lightly running a finger on my cheek to wake me up. We were in front of her house, the one she told me was her parents. I saw Mr. Coulson and Robby Rob walking up to the car.  
  
Inside Josie had her spare room upstairs set up for me, and also the couch in the living room was set up for me to lounge on.  
  
Nobody has ever going through this much trouble. She must just feel guilty about lying to me. Josie, Coulson, and Rob all seemed to expect me to sit and talk and eat. But I don't really feel like doing much. So I just went up the stairs, with Rob's help, and laid down on the bed and went back to sleep.  
  
June 16 I have spent the past few days sleeping and starting to eat regular food again. Josie is just happy that I don't smoke anymore. But she also seems happy to have a full house. Since Coulson's (he keeps insisting I call him Sam) lease is over and his girlfriend went to New York he is staying also. Plus Josie and Rob's parents are mad about Rob having a party. So he is staying also. It's nice because Josie and Coulson have to work during the day (she's doing a study on child abuse for the paper and he is teaching summer English courses at a local community college), Rob and I get a good chance to chat. He is funny, and a great ball player.  
  
Most of all I just wait for the evenings, when Sam is cooking dinner and Rob goes to baseball practice. Josie and I just sit and talk. It reminds me what a great person she is.  
  
June 20 I finally feel that I have a real family. We have our set routines that all somehow mesh together and end with the four of us eating dinner every night. I have never had anything like this in the world. My body feels much better now. The only real pain I have is my ribs. At least I got the stitches out of my head. I'm starting to feel one hundred percent. 


	6. Dreams and the morning after

June 23  
  
Last night I had another nightmare about my father. It's always the same until the very end. He escapes from prison and comes to Josie's house. He breaks in and walks up the stairs. In each dream he gets closer and closer to Josie's room. Then I wake up. But last night I didn't wake up in time. He went into Josie's room and pulled Coulson out of bed. Josie started to scream and he threw Coulson on the ground, and shot him. Then went over to Josie and grabbed her.  
  
That is where I finally woke up screaming. A few seconds later my bedroom door opened. I screamed even louder and curled into a ball by the headboard.  
  
Then Josie stepped into the room and hurried to my bed. She sat there holding me while I just cried. I realized it was the first time I had really showed any emotion about the past 18 years with my father. Sam and Rob popped their heads in the room and Josie shooed them away. Upon seeing them enter the room I stopped crying and just leaned into Josie.  
  
I wanted to tell her about the dream but felt stupid. So I just pushed it away. Feeling like a child, I asked Josie to tell me a story about anything.  
  
Josie shifted me so I was laying down on the bed and smoothed my legs out with her hand, then she held he in her arms and lightly rocked me.  
  
She told me a story her grandmother had told her as a child. Sadly it was the first time in my life any one has ever done this for me.  
  
June 24th I woke up today still in Josie's arms. She woke up when I moved and smiled at me. She asked me if I was okay, and kissed my forehead. Then she went off to shower for work and told me to go back to sleep.  
  
I tried to sleep but after about half an hour I started to head down the stairs to get breakfast. I heard Sam and Josie arguing in the kitchen so I stopped on the stairs.  
  
Sam was arguing with Josie that she wasn't spending enough time with him. He was trying to start a new relationship and she wasn't focusing on it. Josie argued back well he needs my help right now. Guy is all alone he needs me.  
  
Realizing they were arguing about me I crept down the stairs to hear more. I stopped where I could partially could see them and hear every word.  
  
Sam was mad that she had stayed the night in my room, and then Josie started to argue back. I saw Sam reach his hand up to Josie. Thinking he was about to hit her I flew into the room and attempted to punch Sam with my right hand, the one in the cast. Sam and Josie were too shocked to even move. Sam reached out to me, and I hit him again. This time the pain shot through my entire body and I crumpled to the floor. Josie grabbed me and I started to cry again. I screamed at Sam not to hit her, and instantly wondered what was wrong with me.  
  
Sam kneeled down to me and put a hand on the side of my face. He whispered to me that he wasn't angry at Josie or I, he was just feeling insecure about the loss of Lauren and how fast things were moving with him and Josie.  
  
They told me he wasn't going to hit Josie and I was safe.  
  
Suddenly I felt patronized. I pushed Josie back and swing at Sam again. I scrambled to run to the front door to leave and Rob caught me around the waist. Fighting him off I opened the door and ran outside and straight to the street.  
  
Next thing I knew my face was on the concrete, and Rob was tackling me as a mini van whizzed by and screeched to a stop. A woman jumped out of the van and ran toward us. Rob got off me and pulled me up.  
  
My face was scratched up and the open soars were bleeding. My ribs hurt even more, and my right arm bone was sticking though my cast which was soaked in blood. I looked at the scene around me and now saw the mini van woman, Rob, Sam, and Josie all standing over me staring in bewilderment, and I wanted to cry. Instead I just blacked out. 


End file.
